You know you’re Lao when…
ຂຽນເມື່ອ December 10, 2007, ໃນຫມວດ ສັງຄົມ.
ພໍດີໄປເຫັນກຣຸບໃນ Facebook ມາ ເພິ່ນຂຽນຄັກດີ ລອງອ່ານກັນເບິ່ງ
1. You can name all the ingredients that go into thum mak hoong.
2. At least one person drives a Honda in your family.
3. You got more than one generation living in your house.
4. Everyone in your house eats out of the same bowl.
5. Your gramps is making whiskey out of rocks and twigs.
6. You got a jar of fermenting fish heads in the bottom cabinet FOR THUM MAK HOONG.
7. You’ve climbed the neighbor’s tree while you were younger to satisfy the appetite for sour berries and hot sauce.
8. Your last name is a bazillion letters long and everyone jacks it up trying to pronounce it.
9.
You will get the smack down for wearing your shoes in the house…this
is to include your slippers with the three-headed elephant brand.
10. Your grandma has an Asian perm…think about it.
11. At one point, you must have helped a dad or an uncle slaughter a duck for bloody lap.
12. You or someone close to you has a Lao nickname of “short, fat, skinny….etc.”
13. Your parents dry meat in the back yard…sometimes on the clothesline.
14. You have a cousin that’s a thug.
15. Your brother/sister is a slut.
16. your parents trip when u get a B on a report card
17. In the summer time u turn hella dark (almost black).
18. Your parents play that karaoke sh*t, get drunk, talk hella loud, and make u clean sh*t up.
19. Rice goes with anything.
20. Your house smells weird.
21. You(guys) shave your head and eye brows and rock a robe when family dies.
22. You still wash dishes the old school way.
23. You hang ya damn clothes when u dry em.
24. Somebody ask u what u are and u go “lao” and they go “what the f**k is that?”
25. your parents yell at u for no damn reason.
26. You got a mechanic in the family.
27. You use to listen to freestyle/break beat bboy sh*t.
28. You were in the rave scene in the 90s.
29. Either has spiked hair or the bald cut (guys).
30. Girls got the reddish hair or black… or with streaks.
31. Your parents are secretly racist.
32. Chances r most of your parents escaped Laos to get over here.
33. You got sum strict ass parents.
34. You get pissed when people say your Filipino, Chinese, Viet, Japanese, etc… You got beef with Hmong people.
35. When there’s a party (birthday, marriage, baby shower… etc) usually all the adults are gambling.
36. your mom can’t say broccoli or various other words in english
37. You walk into the kitchen and open up a butter container and u end up finding smelly stuff in it.
38. Ur parents can handle hot ass thum mak houng and anything else spicy.
39. Your dad is old.
40. Your username has an X in it.
41. Someone in your family has a Lao first name.
42. Ur grandpa goes fishing.
43. Funerals are long.
44. Ur parents or u are driving and sum1 cuts u off or drives weird ,u have to cuss in lao.
45. You fail English class.
46. You hear the mock lock guy coming with his dice and mat.
47. You have pho every month or week.
48. You have a frozen fish in your freezer without a bag or anything.
49. You have too many cousins and forget their names sometimes.
50. you have a pile of flip-flops by each entrance to your house
51. you eat just about everything with your hands
52. you call everyone who’s lao “aunt” or “uncle”
53. nothing beats sitting on the floor eating sticky rice
54.You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
55.
You’ve had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian
women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library
56. You’ve had to eat parts of animals they don’t even put in hot dogs
57. you’re still reading up to this point!
58. ur parents lie about ur age so that they get to pay less at a buffet
59. when ur parents think of Survivor as a free vacation
60. The weddings you go to have 600 people in attendance
61. When your last name has more than 7 letters.
62. When ur mom wears a “SIN” and goes to “Wat”.
63. you watch King of the Hill because they got a lao guy up in there!
64. your parents probably know everyone’s parents in this group, but you just cannot figure out who the hell they are!
65.
If you have 2 birthdays…your legitimate birthday and the one you chose
for immigration purposes (n/a for those of you born here!)
66. u gotta share a room with ur sister and brother
67. ur mom buys clothes 3x bigger than your size and say u can wear it next year
68. you have a garden in your backyard and there are no flowers in it
69. the number 9 is a lucky number (especially when
you’re playing cards…)
70. your last name has a useless “h” somewhere.
71. you bet on the Lotto 6/49 Bonus number
72. you eat khay louk
74. you know how to play 6 cards or tham dang (red card)
75. someone in your family sells “louk seen” (meat balls)
76. ur mom is stuck on the phone for 5 hours talking shit about other lao people
77. your grandma loves to KEAW MACK and miss the bucket because she cant see anymore cause she’s so old!
78. you have guests visiting and they sleep either in your room or on the living room floor
79. your mum ALWAYS talks freakin’ loud on the phone, like it has bad recpetion or something
80. you will still eat something that smells rotten and will make you run to the bathroom
81. you have a “Sat” (floor mat) in your house or in the trunk of your car…
82. you make homemade beef jerky on a dirty window screen
83. someone asks you your last name you reply by saying “Let me spell it for you.”
84. Every party or wedding you’ve been to has an OPEN BAR.
85. The family car has a knitted Kleenex box protector.
86. when you mention the word “laotian”.. your friends say “what? ocean?”
87. when your parents dont believe in air conditioning– they’re immune to heat
88. when ur ashamed to have friends over when you eat dry squid. (smells raunchy but sure tastes good!)
89. when your parents speak french better than english at times
90. you have a decked out karaoke machine in your living room
91. your house has too many fake flowers
92. your good friends know all the top swears
93. you leave the house when your mom is frying dry peppers — you dont want to cough to death
94. you lie to your friends about certain meats that ur eating
95. you didnt notice there was no #73 on this list
96. You feel the need to purchase big screen TVs (Sony preferably) and Louis Vuitton Handbags to impress other laotions
97. Your liquors of choice are Courvosier and Henessy
98. You have that uncle in your family who always drinks too much, makes a fool of himself and the family and turns really RED
99.
When you burn yourself, your parents’ remedy is to apply toothpaste
directly to the burn and vicks vapour rub cures everything else
100. You eat moo foy in a rice bun
101. Your grandpa calls you “buk hum”
102. You don’t use a showerhead, instead, the bucket that’s in the tub
103. Someone in the family has a kitchen in the garage or…
104. Your mom does most of her cooking in the backyard on a gas burner
105. Your dad made little wooden seats out of planks so you can sit/squat a few inches off the ground
106. You have black and white photos of your unhappy grandparents
107. You talk to your cat/dog in Lao
108. You wrap pants around your neck to see if they’ll fit your waist
109. You were young, your mom used to chew your food for you…ew
110. The first thing your grandma asks you is, “gin kaow la bor?” (have you eaten) and anyone else who walks in the house
111. You get yelled at by your family for not eating a chicken wing bone dry
112. You like to *Enter Explicit Here* your papayas
113. when there is wet underwear or bras hanging to dry in the bathroom cuz the older folks bathe in their underwear
114. when you eat solid square clumps of blood in your congee
115. your dad plugs one nostril and blows out the other to clear his nose in public…ew again
116. your remote control is covered in Saran wrap
117. you would rather sit on the floor than the comfy-ass couch when watching karaoke
118. you have a three-headed elephant somewhere in the house
119. you say ur Thai to avoid any unwanted confusion
120. you own three or more DVD players
121.
you are parked along a non-paid parking meter then your mom tells you
to wait in the car for a bit. She returns an hour later
122. you pay for coffee using pennies, nickels, dimes
123. you have proper technique when slapping cards on the table!
124. You enter another Laotian’s house without knocking
125. You’ve tried to powerbomb your little brother/cousin
126. you’ve played then yang
127. you have black n white pics of ur unhappy grandparents
128. you own “that” silverware
129. you talk to your pets in Lao
130. when the first thing ur grandma asks you is “gin
kaow la bor?”
131. your mom leaves meat out to dry on a rack using a fan
132. your mom chewed your food for u when u were little (sticky rice and beef jerky!)
133. you wake up in the morning to the smell of sticky rice and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner
134. your friends find sticky rice on random parts of ur body and clothes
135. your keyboards are set to input lao or thai characters
136. your family goes to laos and come back with tons of fake brand-name purses
137. you get 25 cents for every white hair you pull from your mom’s hair
138. your dad plugs one nostril and blows out the other to clean his nose..in public
139. you have a gold temple style ornament with multiple long red strings hanging from your rear view mirror in your car
140. you eat solid square clumps of blood in your congee
141. there is wet underwear/bras hanging in the bathroom ’cause the older folks bath in their underwear
142. you like to “fack” your papayas LOL
143. you have no use for a food processor ’cause u smash, grind, mix everything in your “kok”
144. you get yelled at for not eating every shred of meat off a bone (plus the bone marrow and cartilage itself)
145. you were the only 2 yr old rockin gold jewelry
146. your old man offers shots of whiskey to visitors and everyone drinks from the same shot glass
147. you can read this list and laugh at it
148. you have a proper technique of slapping cards on a table
149. all the males try to powerbomb their little brother/cousin
150. you park along a non-paid parking meter and your mom tells you to wait in the car a “bit” and comes back an hr later
151. u pay for coffee with pennies, nickels and dimes
152. you enter another lao person’s house without knocking
153. ur remote control is covered in seran wrap
154. ud rather sit on the floor than a comfy ass couch when watching karaoke
155. you have a three-headed elephany somewhere in the house
156. you own three or more dvd players
157. you mention ur near thailand to avoid more unwanted confusion
158. when you dance with ur hands (aka fawn)
159. you run out of space filling out forms
160. your grandparents tie white strings around your wrist for good luck
161. your parents spend hrs lecturing you on one subject and keep repeating the same thing again..and again..and
again
162.
a lao kid is getting married and the mom inviteds 500 of her closest
relatives and leaves you with only 100 for your friends and partners
side
163. you eat crab apples or mango with spicy jaeo
164. your parents drink black label with pepsi
165. moms are gambling and you grew up hearing “OOOOOOOOOOIIYY”
166. you have a new baby cousin and they sing “thing noy noy” while bouncing them on their knees
167. your grandma won’t buy things over 5 dollars ’cause its too expensive
168. your mom tries to yell at you and thinks she speaks good english and makes a fool out of herself
169. your parents get mad at you and call you “ee nah mah”
170. you celebrate new yrs 7 times a year
171. a white person comes to ur house and someone tries to tell them everything “tastes like chicken”
172. you introduce everyone in your family as an aunt or uncle
173. your car smells ur house..wich smells like the chinese market
174. you’ve memorized the number to order at the pho restaurant
175. your mom goes to “han lao” to buy food and lottery
176. someone tries to guess ur nationality.. an hr later you have to tell them ur lao
177. relatives ask u to step on their back
178. your taller than ur parents
179. ur parents never get ur age right
180. ur parents say 30 mins and it really means 2 hrs when u ask them to go home from a party
181. u have half a chicken wing and a spoonful of rice in ur fridge
182. every song ur parents listen to sound exactly the same
183. ur own kids wont be able to speak laos
184.
ur parents say ur losing the language because u speak too much english,
but wen mail comes or phone calls are made YOU are the translator
185. ur dads outside drinking and ur mom is inside playing cards at a party
186. u talk smack about the ppl right beside u to someone else in lao HAHA
187. wen ur part of a lao group n someone talks shit about it u stand up for it!!!!
Tags: Facebook, Lao, Laos, ລາວ
5 ຄຳເຫັນກ່ຽວກັບເລື່ອງນີ້ to "You know you’re Lao when…"
NouNou on December 11, 2007
I like this ^^
sen9y on December 11, 2007
ສົງໃສແມ່ນຄົນລາວທີ່ເກີດຢູ່ຕ່າງປະເທດ ;p
au8ust on December 12, 2007
@sen9y
ສົງໃສແບບນັ້ນຄືກັນ 😀
sen9y on December 14, 2007
ຂໍ້ 176 ນີ້ເຄີຍເຈິມາແລ້ວ ເຂົາເຈົ້າເດົາວ່າເປັນ ໄທ,ເກົາຫຼີ,ຫວຽດ,ຈີນກໍ່ມີ ແຕ່ບອກວ່າເປັນຄົນລາວ ທໍ່ນັ້ນຍັງບໍ່ພໍ ຍັງມາຖາມອີກວ່າປະເທດລາວຢູ່ໄສ ເຮເຮ
au8ust on December 10, 2007
ລືມບອກໄປວ່າຊື່ກຣຸບແມ່ນ “You know you’re Lao when…”